How to negotiate a job offer when you hate negotiating

When an offer arrives, the employer knows what the role pays across the market and what the last hire accepted. You know what the email says. That gap, more than nerve, is why most people say yes to the first number.

Most people never ask

According to Pew Research, fewer than a third of US workers asked for higher pay the last time they were hired. Among those who did not ask, the most common reason was that they did not feel comfortable doing so.

That discomfort is expensive. Each move is priced off the last one, and people move often: an average of 12.7 jobs between the ages of 18 and 56 in one long-running US study (BLS). An offer accepted a little low carries into every raise and every later offer.

Step 1: know the range before the call

You cannot negotiate against a number you made up. Find the low, typical and high pay for this role, in this location, at your level of experience. The method is in How to find out what you should be paid.

Decide three figures in advance:

• Your ask: in the upper half of the market range, a point you can justify.
• Your target: what you would be pleased to accept.
• Your floor: below this, you decline.

Step 2: respond to the offer

Do not accept or reject on the spot. Thank them, say you are glad to have it, and ask for a day or two to look at the details. It is a normal request.

Step 3: make the ask

One or two sentences. By email or on a call, whichever you find easier.

Thank you again for the offer. I’m excited about the role. Based on the market for this position in [city] and my [n] years doing [the core of the job], I was expecting something closer to [figure]. Is there flexibility on the base?

Then stop. The silence afterwards feels long and is not your job to fill.

Step 4: handle the answer

• “Yes.” Ask for the revised offer in writing.
• “We can do part of that.” Compare it with your target. If it clears, accept. If not, ask what else can move.
• “The base is fixed.” Ask about the other parts: a signing bonus, equity, an earlier pay review, extra leave, remote days, a later start.
• “No.” You are where you started, with an offer in hand. Decide against your floor.

What to say and what to leave out

• Anchor on the market and your experience, not on your current pay or your costs.
• Name a number, not a range. Offer a range and the answer tends to be the bottom of it.
• Be warm. You are about to work with these people. Enthusiasm and a firm number sit together fine.
• Do not bluff about other offers. If you have one, say so plainly. If you do not, do not invent one.
• Do not negotiate in pieces. Raise everything you want to discuss in one go.

Where the numbers come from

The hard part of all this is step one. Glide includes Market Value, which shows the low, typical and high pay for your role, city and experience, places your own pay on that range, and shows what the rung above earns. It also researches each company you apply to, including what it pays by title, so you walk into the conversation with the same figures the recruiter has.

Common questions

Can negotiating cost me the offer?

It is unlikely when the request is polite and within the market range. Employers expect some candidates to ask.

How much more should I ask for?

Base it on the market range, not a percentage of the offer. If the offer sits at or below the typical figure and your experience is solid, asking for a point in the upper half of the range is reasonable.

Should I negotiate by email or phone?

Either works. Email gives you time to choose your words and leaves a record. A call is faster and lets you hear how the request lands. Confirm any agreement in writing.

What can I negotiate besides salary?

A signing bonus, equity, bonus terms, an early pay review, paid leave, remote or flexible working, a training budget and your start date.